By the time we got up in the morning it was still pretty windy, but the rain had mostly calmed down. We sent Bryan and Jon over to the kitchen to see if there was a plan for anything- but it turned out it seemed worse in the house than outside at that point so everyone was just having out under the awning getting ready to go. Brekky was basically just some biscuits and coffee, but no complaints here…I was still just hoping we’d be able to get out of there.

It started to rain a bit as we headed up the road and Hondo just kept going at a pretty good clip, because if you stopped that’d be it, we’d get stuck. At one point we hit a branch and there was suddenly a bird flying around the truck. I will have to ask Mat what kind- maybe the size of a sparrow…but Jacquie was able to catch it and let it out. I ended up with some pieces of tree in my hair too, but it got so steamy if we closed the windows so it was kind of necessary. I should say also, it was FREEZING. The temp was about 50F which is certainly the coldest we’ve ever seen in Africa- and Mat said the greatest variation from one day to the next that he’d experienced- because it was like 95 on the drive there down to 50. I was glad I packed my stretchy pants and just pulled them over my shorts. I’d decided to wear shorts and a tank because if I was going to get soaked, I figured the least amount of clothes on the better- and then I could put things on over and still be warm- but if all my “cold” clothes were wet I’d be screwed. 

We were going to have a pretty good long drive again, this time headed to Eswatini and Hlane (pronounced like “schlane”- the H is kind of like a Yiddish sounding clearing of the throat)- and it means wilderness and Swati, which is the main language around here. But first we’d have to cross the border…and hopefully that’d not be like the previous one.

We stopped again at the advanced gas station in Bilene on the way out and most people ended up getting the Nescafe. Bryan and I got passionfruit “drinking yoghurt” which was more like yogurt in a bottle- it wasn’t really that thin like a drink, but it was good. We also got some more Mrs. Balls chutney chips for later.

I was struggling a bit at this point because this was the second day of not pooping and at some point I really hoped I would have a chance- but you never know with the bathroom situation- and I was doubtful I’d have enough time…I didn’t have a stomach ache yet, but I was pretty sure I would at some point.

I was pretty tired this time and mostly drifted in and out of sleep for a while, until we got to the outskirts of Maputo which is the capital of Moz. It was a crazy bustling place and we weren’t even in the downtown area. We could see the skyline in the distance, but we were closer to the airport- which also had an airplane graveyard next to it, such as we’d seen landing in Joburg- but there were actually even more planes. I thought we would be crossing the border soon, but it turns out we drove out to the country again and crossed at a quiet town instead. I remembered we were not going to cross at the same place because this time we weren’t going back into South Africa, but rather Eswatini.

We were the only people in the building pretty much- except for the one guy that decided he didn’t have to wait behind us and just pushed his way to the front. The immigration people were giving him shit for that, but he didn’t care. Sometimes people are funny here about lines, but whatever…most importantly there were no people around to pickpocket anyone.

Crossing into Eswatini wasn’t quite the vast difference it’d been from South Africa to Moz- but the landscape almost instantly got hilly and there were cows, goats and farms dotting the hillside. I think Martin had gone ahead and ran to a little store just the other side of the border because we picked him up and he had sandwiches ready for us- veg bologna type on a roll for us and tuna for the others. Was pretty hungry so I ate mine down and some cheddar Simba chips and Bryan had an orange. I don’t like peeling oranges even at home. I hate the feel of the peel under my nails and this one was hard to peel anyway- plus I wasn’t sure if it had been washed well and my hands didn’t feel clean so I avoided that at the time.

Thankfully there wasn’t too much more driving until we’d reach the park. Mat did some more historical discussion which included the fact that Eswatini is one of only 12 absolute monarchies in the world- and the only in Africa. The king sounds like kind of a jerk and has some f’ed up rules…which has actually contributed to the decimation of the people and their population due to HIV. Apparently about 35% of the people here are under the age of 25- and their typical life expectancy is only 58. The king also has 15 wives and 120 kids and thinks you can only marry a woman if you impregnate her- otherwise, just ditch her…hence the not safe or sound practices that would lead to further spreading of HIV.

We hit a small town and a little shopping center where we could get out and grab some things, but honestly I’d have preferred to skip it because I want to have a few minutes to find my cold weather clothes for the upcoming night drive and to try to have a bathroom break…but I figured that wasn’t going to happen. The mall was full of kids who’d just gotten out of school and were getting candy at the marketplace and watching us, but were friendly when we said hi. Jon found a store to get a fleece at so he could give Bryan his back, and it was just in time.

We got back on the truck and pulled into Hlane just in time for the night drive- literally like less than 10 minutes which did NOT allow for me to go to the bathroom…it was a harsh attempt and I will not explain further but thankfully I was able to soon forget about the trouble once we got on the game drive.

Though the quick stop at our rooms offered unique rondavels, the round mud hut with thatched roof, traditional for the area. There were two twin beds with a mosquito net and a nice bathroom. There were lanterns set out for later when it was dark and the beds seemed very clean- although no electricity…so again, without charging etc. And I don’t really care with the wifi except at the reception area- so Kristin and Jon were glad to hopefully finally be able to catch up with their daughter Meka who is on tour (as a backup dancer) with Macklemore from Europe, to the Bahamas and then once they get back a full US tour. This is the first of her real career experiences too, so it’s exciting and we’re so disconnected…but it’s all good.

But it was suddenly time for the drive and we ended up with Mbura who is a relatively new guide. He seems very knowledgeable but he loved to stop and talk- and turn to us and just sit there…whereas we’re more of the talk on the go types….except Mat, Alma and Jaqcuie who love the birds and Mat to chat about the animals. I will say it was a bit slow and painful at first- but we quickly ran into a black backed jackal- very close, which is a first for us. Usually you see them scurrying off pretty quickly as they are shy, but this one was maybe 10-20ft, away and stopped to pose and hang out for a second like he was showing off a bit or something. Thankfully though we were first and not eating other people’s dust (literally) so we got the best view. 

We saw some elephants, although not close- including Zambiqui (or Mozambique, I wasn’t sure) a naughty teen male elephant who was pushing down fences and such- so they had to put a GPS on him! You could barely see it but it was there like a bubble on his back and we were excited to see a mischievous guy, who had a reputation.

We saw some birds that Mat and the guide couldn’t identify and it started to get painful when we spent more than 5 minutes sitting there discussing the picture when light was fading and we wanted to see some bigger animals…so I was getting a little frustrated until we came across some lions. Two males who were hanging out not far from the road.

It was pretty amazing and one of the closest encounters we’ve had to date…but the light was fading pretty quickly and the photos probably left much to be desired, it was pretty amazing. As well, I realized when the lion got really close to the truck and passed just feet behind Bryan, I thought I was filming and totally wasn’t…just like what happened with the mom and baby elephant!? I was so mad…but whatever- I was there…and most of all, Jon and Kristin got to see it too. Kristin was a bit scared but not terribly- though she was glad to be in the middle. 

By then it was getting dark and we had to go back- but between the jackal being so close and the lions too, it was a good night.

Dinner was traditional a Zimbawean dish called pap (pronounced pop)- which is the maize meal- and then cabbage with peanut butter. I don’t know why cabbage with peanut butter is traditional- and it tasted much like Thai food and was delicious… however I was certain it was NOT going to help my bathroom situation at all.

We were fortunate enough to have a fire here, so everyone sat around the fire chatting whie eating and Becky told us her elephant story which we’d heard briefly about the very first night at Tiger’s Milk. It was pretty freaking insane in the end and she’s lucky to be alive.

She was in Chobe (Botswana) at the Okavango delta camping and doing a day hike (which we did also in 2017). They were walking singe file behind their guide and were instructed to keep watch and if he made a move to “bunch up” and become a big group if something happened, so an elephant or something threatening them would hopefully back down.

But suddenly Becky heard, “quick get together” but then someone said run and everyone did. Then Becky turned around and saw a mother elephant quite close, basically on top of her- and the last thing she remembered was being thrown and landing face down in the dirt. The elephant had just picked her up and tossed her like a rag doll, but she pretty much passed out and didn’t remember anything except the guide picking her up and carrying her away…once to safety she was trying to walk but kept passing out. Once back to camp a helicopter had to fly in and pick her up and the guide was so upset- he very likely got fired for it…

But once she got back to the main camp (in a safe area) she met Mat and that’s how their relationship began 10 years ago…and since he’s done some talks for her students (she was a teacher)…she showed us the pics of the whole ordeal- her thighs were just completely purple and it was crazy- and hard to believe she’d ever be back in Africa again. She said she still loves- and definitely respects- elephants…but even I am not sure I could have the same outlook. I don’t take them for granted and I joke about getting close to them- but I know it’s no joke…and I’d be shitting my pants if they were even within 30 feet of me- because that is pretty much the “you’re dead” zone, because they could be on you so much faster than you could even think.

We all chatted and told a few more stories but were ready to head back to our rondavels. Our lanterns were lit for us which was cool- and while I’m not sure we were supposed to take them inside, we did. I immediately headed to the bathroom and spent probably an hour there…sweating, praying, crying, and hurting…before I finally crawled to bed. Poor Bryan had to go too but I just told him I was sorry but if I didn’t get this done that night it was never going to happen and I’d have a really serious problem…I have never had such a hard time and I hope to never again. I did ask Bryan to open the door and air it out (because of the lanterns, not me!) a bit because I felt faint with the whole ordeal- and I think it was probably slowly asphyxiating…I could barely get the words out, but Bryan figured it out and complied…then after huffing and puffing and sighing quite a bit, trying to relax, I fell asleep fast.